WHY GOLF IS GOOD FOR ME – with Tom Murphy

Recent Golf: What got you into golf?

Tom Murphy: I was vaguely interested in golf from a young age. My first real interaction with golf was playing Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2003 as I was a big gamer, there was also a random Nick Faldo instructional VHS kicking around under the TV when I was small in the late 90s and I remember watching it a lot, not sure at the time why I liked it.

It wasn’t until 2021 when my father passed away that I started playing golf. We were estranged in as many ways as we weren’t, he was in and out of my life since I was 3 — however for all his inconsistency in life I remember him always saying I’d love golf and after his death I’ve learned from relatives that he was, at least, a very consistent golfer! Before he passed we reconnected, it was an incredible few months to get to know a man who’d struggled with mental health his whole life and engage with him as an adult. We spoke about our lives and of course he said again that I must play golf. So I said screw it, I’ll get some lessons. The last conversation I had with him was on the phone telling him how much I enjoyed my first few lessons and that I was totally hooked, I saw what it’s all about! It was probably the most connected I ever felt with him, but sadly he died just a week later.

For me playing golf has been a way to get to know him. He was so passionate about the game. Every time I hit an iron pure, sink a long putt or pipe a drive down the middle I imagine what it would’ve been like to share it with him. It’s driven me to keep going forward after bad rounds and drive forward my improvement. I’m not spiritual or religious in the slightest but I oddly feel a connection to him at every achievement — so far I’m down to a 13 handicap and hope to keep going — my dad apparently played off 5 or 6 so that’s a goal for me in the long run!

RG: Who did you first play with?

TM: My first round was with my uncle. He took me out to Thetford Golf Club — I don’t think you can really describe my performance as golf, but it was a great experience and he got me up to speed on pace of play and what to do.

RG: Where do you play your golf and why?

TM: I’m a member at Hampstead Golf Club so that’s where I play most of my rounds. I feel quite lucky to have stumbled into this club as it’s quite a special place — it was just near my flat and it’s where I had my first lessons. It’s a hidden gem in North London. It focuses on the important aspects of golf’s traditions without making an enemy of the future and the positive cultural changes the game is going through. It marries the wonderful history of the game with a youthful outlook.

I also love exploring courses in the UK and Europe. I have made a few trips to Portugal already and hope to get up to Scotland this year.

RG: Golf is greedy on time and resources, how do you fit it in?

TM: My partner and I run a business together Make–Ready, meaning that we spend the whole week together and love getting a little break from each other on the weekends. We make time to do special things together but it means right now I get to play twice a week, Saturday and Sunday. It’s something I’m really thankful for as it’s one of those rare relationships where we can spend pretty every day together, and work together and not kill each other haha.

RG: Where or when were you happiest playing golf?

TM: I love an early morning summer round, 7:00 tee off type of thing with great company. There’s something incredible about getting a round in and having the rest of the day ahead of you, especially if it’s been a good round. That feeling is better than any of the questionable things I got up to in my 20s.

RG: What annoys you most about golf?

TM: Men. I think if you’d asked me the same question about society I’d probably have the same answer. I’ll start by saying that some of my favorite people in golf are men but if you really drill into many of golf’s issues you can link most of the barriers to entry and deep cultural blockers are ultimately to do with some form of toxic masculinity, be it overt or something less quantifiable. But there’s plenty of social change that makes me hopeful. Watching people like George Bryan and Grant Horvat blend that sense of competition that is so vital to the game with a natural level of kindness and compassion is really inspiring. I feel quite passionately about that as it’s the same in my industry, and it’s something we’ve striven to be the antithesis of with our company Make-Ready.

RG: What would you like to see changed in golf?

TM: Old stuffy rules. You can be polite, repair pitch marks, keep pace of play, rake bunkers and wear a Hawaiian shirt. It’s important to embrace tradition and celebrate change.

RG: How is golf good for you?

TM: Naturally there are countless health benefits, making you live longer etc etc. But my favorite aspect is the significant positive impact it can have on your mental health, it’s a perfect chance to get outside and connect with people. The highs are great and lows can be tough. It’s the ultimate game of life. I love the saying, ‘this too shall pass’ and golf its ultimate manifestation. I think the game teaches you to treat the highs and lows with the same level of respect. Talking about the lows and highs of your golf game can be a great way for people (especially men) to open up and show humility. Whether some of us are aware of it or not, I think this practice of talking passionately about how you feel about something that is important to you and has so much to do with who you are can only be a good thing.